CONDESCENDING

There was a successful businessman na ginugol na ang kanyang oras sa pagpapalago ng negosyo that he was so occupied at umabot na siya sa edad na 45 ay di pa nagkaroon ng girlfriend.

One day, he felt that he needed to have a wife, but hindi niya alam kung papaano. He called his personal adviser and and after a lengthy discussion, he gave him instruction, “find me a beautiful girl whom I will marry and will be the mother of my children.”

His adviser looked for one, told the purpose of meeting his Boss and arranged a date with him.

Noong nagdidinner na sila ng girl, sinabi ni Businessman:”Alam mo, you stunned me, and I think you are the right girl for me. However, let me tell you, I am a meticulous person, I study details very well, I weigh everything first before I enter into a contract, bago ko patulan ang isang produkto na gusto kong inegosyo. And the same principle ang gusto kong iapply sa ating paghaharap na ito.”

What do you mean?” ang tanong ng babae.

“Bukod kasi sa masusi kong pag-aaral sa isang produkto, kung paano ko ito mapapakinabangan at kung paano ito makakatulong sa aking negosyo, I test first the product. Which means bago tayo magkasundo, kailangan ay ma-test muna kita.”

Sensing what the businessman wants, sumagot ang babae. “Alam mo ako ay isang de kaledad na produkto, maayos ang lahat ng presentation sa akin, maging ang mga katangian ko. “

“So payag ka na sa requirement ko na ikaw ay aking matesting bago tayo magkasundo?” Excited na tanong ni businessman.

“Sabi ko nga sa iyo, sure na de kaledad ako. Hindi ako papayag na matesting. Pero kung mapilit ka na malaman how good I am, I can give you references.” Ang nakangiting sagot ng babae.


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In life, marami sa atin ang kapag nagkaroon ng position, kayamanan, katanyagan o karangalan ay nagkakaroon ng tendency to look down on other people. Ang tingin ay nasa isang elevated position at minamata ang ibang tao.

Lahat ng tao ay may katangian, may kakayahan at may bagay na mas mahigit pa kesa sa iyo. Maaaring ang taong mababa sa iyong paningin ay dakila naman sa paningin ng iba dahil mas higit silang nakakatouch ng buhay at nakakapagbigay ng aliw at ginhawa.

In fact, looking down o others ay signs ng insecurity at ng inferiority complex. Pinagtatakpan natin ang dalawang ito sa pamamagitan ng pagtingin ng mababa sa ibang tao. Worse, we sometimes ridicule them. Tayo ay magkakapatid sa mundong ito at pare-pareho tayong walang wala ng isinilang, ganun din paglisan natin sa mundong ito.

The world is like a mirror. How we are treated is a reflection of how we treat the world in general. If we see inside ourselves, dig out all the ugly stuff and correct them one by one, we’ll find that the world is a much better and pleasant place to live in.

It takes courage- tonnes of it. But in the end, you will come up being a much better and happier person- that you’ve never thought you are capable to be.

Humility and compassion.

That is what God teaches us.

—000—

“You alone, You can see right through. This glass house we call home You alone, You can take away the pain. Yeah, You have shown, You can break right through this glass house of our souls. Make us whole again, Make us whole.” – RED

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NATUTUTO RIN TAYO SA MGA BATA

I always spend quality time with my sons. Quality time means, memorable precious time that will be in their memories as they grow and will be related to their own children. Mga ala-ala ng kanilang kabataan na uulit uliting ikuwento sa kanilang magiging mga anak.

Katulad rin ng aking buhay, marami akong mga magagandang ala-ala ng pagsasamahan naming ng aking ama na inuulit ulit kong ikuwento sa aking mga anak. To the point that sometimes they exclaimed, “pa, nakuwento mo na iyan nung ako ay 7, 9, 12 at 18 years old.

And there are moments ng pagsasamahan ng magkapatid na tayo mismo ang makakaalala at hindi maiwasang mapangiti o minsan ay malungkot. Those days when fun is endless, when caring is bottomless, when love is the binder.

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It is not only the children who learn from their parents, but the parents themselves learn as the children grow. In my own experience, I learned a lot from them:

  1. My children taught me the real meaning of patience. Iyong kakulitan at minsan ay kapilyuhan at talagang susubukan ang iyong pagtitimpi.
  2. I learned that to get them interested na matuto, kailangan pag me aayusin ako sa bahay ay kasama sila. Tagaabot ng martilyo, ng screwdriver, tagasuot sa ilalim.. at me kasamang tuksuhan, pahiran ng grasa sa mukha, tilamsikan ng pawis which made the job more entertaining and exciting.
  3. Natutuhan ko na kapag malapit lang ang pupuntahan, mas maganda ang maglakad. Marami kayong mapapagkuwentuhan habang naglalakad. May kasama pang kantiyawan kapag mabagal ang isa o hinihingal na agad kahit malapit pa lang ang nalalakad.
  4. Ang isa pa ay iyong dapat ay nakakaadapt ako sa mga gusto nilang laro. Lalo na kung involved ang technology. Pero may isang pangyayari na labis ang kasiyahan namin sa paglalaro. Kami ay nagcamping sa Makiling, doon kami natulog sa tent buong maganak, at noong gabi ay naglaro kami ng patintero with other kids at magulang na nagkacamping din.
  5. Higit sa lahat, natuto akong magprepare ng mga kakanin at street foods tulad ng kikiam, fish ball, etc dahil sa kagustuhan ko na sariling preparation para malinis ang pagkain.

This way they learn to appreciate life through their parents. Madalas ko rin silang dinadala sa Smokey Mountain that time, sa mga lugar na may mga street children to make them appreciate their blessings kumpara sa ibang bata. This promote humility at pang-unawa sa iba.

Sabi nga ni Joe J. Christensen “Memory is the one Garden of Eden out of which one need never be cast.’ Good memories are real blessings. Memories with your children are the utmost blessings.

–000—

“Teach your children well, their father’s hell did slowly go by, And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix, the one you’ll know by.” – Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young

IT’S NOT EMOTION, IT’S ALL ABOUT PRINCIPLES SIR!

Matagal na ito, isang araw ay kinausap ako ng isa sa mataas na pinuno ng aming organization dahil sa isang issue which I cannot agree. He is in high pitch voiced (as he always is whenever he is talking to me) and stressed that I am so stubborn. I reasoned that it is not stubbornness but I am riding on my principles.. that I cannot accept a proposition if I feel it is detrimental to the organization. I cannot just say yes, to which he got so irritated. I added further that I am willing to discuss, air my side, willing to listen to his or their side (mga alipores nya) and together weigh down what is really the right thing to do. Pero gusto lang nya marinig sa akin ay “yes”.

Then he blurted, “the problem with you is that you are using your emotions, not reasons, using your heart not your mind..”

I replied, “i am using both reasons and emotions, if not, I would have just said “yes” to you and let the organization suffer. And I could have been out of the organization long time ago if it not for my emotion prevailing over reasons. With my emotion the love for work prevailed over money, that is why I am still here, as oppose to others who follow money which drove them to follow blindly and disregard accountability.”

Ang gusto kasi ay puro yes ang marinig at pag nagsalita ka ng no at nagexplain, emotional ka na.

 

Emotion has its advantages over logic. When you arouse the emotions of people you engage them and take them away from your intention to influence and persuade. It requires less effort than logic, lalo na kung principled ang tao.  Ang mga issues na tinatackle ng may halong emotion means there is a feeling involved, there is accountability, there is pride. Where is pride sa isang tao na pag itinuro mo ang kulay puti, at sinabi mong, “kulay itim ito di ba?” tapos sasagot siya ng “yes, itim nga iyan..” Mapasaya lang ang nagtatanong, mapadikit lang at bumango sa boss kahit na mali ay sasang-ayunan.

The only hitch is that we must know when to create positive or negative emotions. Me mga lahi kasi na ang namamayaning emotion ay ang pagiging makasarili (selfish) and will do anything para makamit nila ang pera at position.

Tapos dinugtungan pa ng mataas na taong ito ng, “kayong mga Pilipino ay masyadong emosyonal..”

Sinagot ko, “hindi iyon emosyon, iyon ay pride… prinsipyo, na di nakukuha sa pagmamahal sa salapi, kundi sa pagmamahal sa sarili at pagtingin sa kung ano ang magagawa at maiaambag sa organisasyon..”

Bottom line, di pa rin niya ako mapapasagot ng “yes” pag sa aking tingin ay hindi tama ang gagawin o ginagawa.

—000—

“I decided long ago. Never to walk in anyone’s shadow. If I fail if I succeed, at least I live as I believe. No matter what what they take from me, they can’t take away my dignity… ” – George Benson