NANAY MADE ME STRONG

I sincerely believe Nanay wanted me to do anything the best I can do and she always tried to give me the sense of confidence I should muster in myself.  She wanted me to be independent, to be strong, for that made her also strong.

In my younger days, I was so dependent on her, on everything I did, everything I decided and planned. She had embedded in me the attitude of perseverance and patience, while from Tatay the attitude of doing everything the right way… morally and spiritually whilst keeping forgiveness in my heart..

Nanay left us after a couple of months Tatay died in 1979, showing up after a year in our University with problem in her eyes. I was on scholarships plus doing some odd jobs that time, so I got savings to have her treated and stayed with me for a few months until she was totally healed. By mid-December, she told me we’ll spend Christmas in my sister’s house in Rizal and she got to be there early. I promised I will follow her there.

She never did. She was gone. All that’s left is a question. Why?

I tried looking for her, but she’s gone like a wisp of air. After 18 years, she just appeared in my sister’s home. Even if the place had changed a lot, she managed to get there, sick. half paralyzed. I took her and  had her treated, recovering through the patient watch and care of my family.

I could see the connection in everything that had happened to me. I could see the role my mother had played in making me stand on my own.. in making me strong. Had she not left us, I would not be this kind of person now. I would not have studied harder, worked harder, dreamed larger.

The attitude has  changed from “we missed Nanay because she’s gone and we were orphans who tried to survive in deep and vast ocean” to “Nanay missed us all those years that she was alone, she’s living out a lonely life to teach us how to be strong.”

It’s not too late for any of us.  We just have to embrace an understanding that life may be very different from anything we’ve ever heard of. Think about the disciples who followed Jesus into a whole new way of thinking and seeing their world?  They came to an understanding, and they had to step out into a new direction, no matter what the consequences might be.

Other people may judge my mother too quickly for what happened to us. Judgment are theirs, I have my mother. And I love her so much. And I am thankful to God for giving my mother another birthday.. and lots more to come.

This is for you Nanay:

I say a little prayer for you Nanay
to thank the Lord above
for blessing me with a lifetime
of your unselfish love.

I thanked God for the caring
you’ve shown me through the years,
for the bond of life we enjoyed
in time of laughter and of tears.

My sincerest thank to you Nanay
for all you’ve done for me
and I thank God for giving me
the best mother there could be!

—000—

“You showed me. When I was young just how to grow. You showed me. Everything that I should know. You showed me. Just how to walk without your hands. Cuz mom you always were. The perfect fan.” – The Backstreet Boyz

DON’T JUST PRAY. ACT!

I went to Riyadh last week for some meetings and clear outs sa issues sa ilan naming customers. Pero bago iyon, pumunta muna ako sa isang Oil Drill Site sa Khurais to verify some information, specifications at mga sukat sukat sa dinidesign naming Pump Change Unit sa paglilinis ng drill pipes and casing.

Dumating ako sa Riyadh ng gabi na and booked a room sa Hotel sa me Batha, ang Divisoria ng Riyadh. I was expecting na ang ilang friends kong Engineers sa Riyadh Refinery will join me for dinner, kaya lang nagfield daw sila at pagod na pagod. Mag-isa akong pumasok sa isang Pinoy Restaurant at nabungaran ko kaagad ang weakness ko… gintaang langka.

Tuwing weekends lang ako nagkakanin at mga ilang kutsara lang, pero dahil sa langka at bangus ay muntik ko na maubos ang isang serving ng kanin (mind you ang pantakal ay mangkok).  I strolled in the area, bought some anik anik, nag tea and called it a night. Kinabukasan, parang bloated pakiramdam ko. I checked out at 7:30 AM, kasi dere-deretso mga meetings ko from 9 AM to 4 PM. Pagdaan ko sa isang Pinoy Restaurant, nakita ko ang almusal ay pinoy na pinoy. I decided to take Tocilog. Full again ako.

Before my first meeting, sumasakit na ang tiyan ko. At naiihi ako. Ganun din sa mga sumunod na meetings.  Ang sama na ng pakiramdam ko. Ang sakit ng tyan, matigas, humihilab at ihi ng ihi. I was contemplating on staying at magpabukas na, but I thought paano kung me mangyari sa akin? I was 435 kms from Khobar.

I decided na mag-inut inot pag-uwi. Habang daan, di ko alam kung ano ang gagawin. I have to drive home, I have to do it. I stopped at a gas station – 325 kms to go pa, filled up, peed, called my son na antabayanan ako and prayed. I told God, “napakasakit God, parang di ko kaya, please grant me clear vision inspite of the pain, a steady hand on the wheel, inspite of the spasm, and a cool mind to decide on the road inspite of the frequent pee.”

I arrived home still in pain, nakatulog agad ako. The pain remained, so I went to the Hospital for check up and treatment.

I was subjected to KUB, Abdominal XRay and Ultrasound (2x).

Clear.

The doctor gave me a double dose of Dolculax. The following morning I’m fine. I was able to job and played 3 games of good -all -win basketball in the afternoon.

Lessons:

  1. Moderate ang anumang masasarap sa buhay.
  2. God gives us challenges we need to surpass. Lets face them squarely.
  3. We should not just rely on praying to God. We must act.

God never allows pain without a purpose in the lives of His children. He never wastes pain. He always causes it to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the likeness of His Son.

—000—
“Don’t give up. It’s just the weight of the world. When your heart’s heavy. I…I will lift it for you
Don’t give up. Because you want to be heard. If silence keeps you. I…I will break it for you.” – Josh Groban

IT’S MY 9TH YEAR IN SAUDI ARABIA

After my meeting with a Project Manager in a big Oil & Gas Company here, one of the employee told me he belongs to our company. He has been with us for 3 years assigned to that Oil and Gas Company and felt so blessed. Sabi niya, kayo pala si Sir Emil, maraming maraming salamat po. Dahil sa pagdevelop ninyo sa project na ito ay nagkaroon ako ng chance na bigyan ng maayos na buhay ang pamilya ko. Then he told me he prays that I continue to get more business at maging maayos daw ang aking health. Ramdam ko ang sincerity niya, maraming nang katulad niya ang lumalapit at nagpapasalamat sa akin.

Today is my 9th year in Saudi Arabia. Noong dumating ako rito, tinanong ko si Lord kung ano ang plano niya sa akin at dito niya ako pinadala. Ni minsan ay di ko nagdamdam sa Kanya dahil alam ko may dahilan Siya.

I was having a good career sa Pinas bago ako pumunta rito. Isang Engineering graduate sa Central Luzon State University at nagtapos ng MBA sa Colegio de San Juan de Letran. ako ay VP for Marketing and Business Development ng isang  lumalagong companya, professor ng Marketing sa MBA, Chairman ng isang School Foundation at aktibong elder at mangangaral sa iglesya. Mahirap pagsabaysabayin but I somehow managed, at ang pinakamahirap ay to uphold and promote honesty sa pagtatrabaho. Isang trait na nakintal sa isip at damdamin ko, mula sa aking mga magulang, mga guro hanggang sa aking pag-aaral sa CLSU at Letran. Sa ating bansa, ang hirap labanan ng katiwalian, pulitika at panatilihin ang iyong stand na ipakita ang imahe ni Lord sa iyong mga gawa. Ipinalaban ko at pinagsikapang maitaguyod ang  HIB – Honesty, Integrity at Brilliancy sa pagtatrabaho, ngunit napahirap labanan ng sistema (di ko na idedetalye pa) ng katiwalian at ako ay nagresign/retiro/whatever noong 2006.

 

 

 

 

Noong mga unang linggo ko rito, lalo akong nadiscourage sa nakita kong pag-uugali ng ibang lahi maging ng ilang kapwa Pinoy. Lagi akong nagtatanong kay Lord sa mga moments ng pagmumuni – muni. Ano ba ang masama kong ginawa sa kapuwa ko? Kahit na sagutin ko na “wala.. I never depended on anybody sa mga dinanas kong hirap, at marami pa nga akong natulungan” still, wala akong makitang sagot. But, still I relied on God. Siya lang ang alam kong makakatugon nito. Sa tamang panahon.
Itinuon ko ang sarili ko sa pagtatrabaho, more research, developed more contacts at pinagaralan ang galaw ng merkado na mahusay kong ginagawa sa dating
trabaho. Submitting position papers, proposals, mga mungkahi, mga puna at paglalatag ng direksyon ng kompanya, mga bagong teknolohiya at kakayahan.

Nagsimulang mamunga ang aking mga ginagawa (although ang pulitika dito ay mas grabe dahil sa magkakaibang lahi) kahit na iba ang umaangkin, still I moved on. When the first batch of Pinoy workers (18 sila) came, somebody told me (isang di kalahi) “maganda ang ginawa mo, natulungan mo kapuwa mo Pinoy na magkaroon ng trabaho at magkaroon ng malinaw na kinabukasan ang pamilya.” Nasundan ito ng marami pa na nangailangan ng Pinoy workers na nagpeak in 2010, pero me ibang lahi na walang alam ang patuloy na sinisira ang mga direksyon para lang pagtakpan ang kanilang kawalan ng kaalaman. (Ibang kuwento naman na ito)

I realize and appreciate the meaning why God brings me here. Ito pala ang sagot niya sa nais kong ipagpatuloy ang aking paglilingkod sa Kanya at sa aking kapuwa.

Salamat Lord sa isang mabiyaya, mapagpala at makabuluhang 9 na taon na ginugol ko rito.

—000—

“Judge not the Lord by feeble sense, But trust Him for His grace; Behind a frowning providence He hides a smiling face. His purposes will ripen fast, Unfolding every hour; The bud may have a bitter taste, But sweet will be the flower.” – Amy Grant