I sincerely believe Nanay wanted me to do anything the best I can do and she always tried to give me the sense of confidence I should muster in myself. She wanted me to be independent, to be strong, for that made her also strong.
In my younger days, I was so dependent on her, on everything I did, everything I decided and planned. She had embedded in me the attitude of perseverance and patience, while from Tatay the attitude of doing everything the right way… morally and spiritually whilst keeping forgiveness in my heart..
Nanay left us after a couple of months Tatay died in 1979, showing up after a year in our University with problem in her eyes. I was on scholarships plus doing some odd jobs that time, so I got savings to have her treated and stayed with me for a few months until she was totally healed. By mid-December, she told me we’ll spend Christmas in my sister’s house in Rizal and she got to be there early. I promised I will follow her there.
She never did. She was gone. All that’s left is a question. Why?
I tried looking for her, but she’s gone like a wisp of air. After 18 years, she just appeared in my sister’s home. Even if the place had changed a lot, she managed to get there, sick. half paralyzed. I took her and had her treated, recovering through the patient watch and care of my family.
I could see the connection in everything that had happened to me. I could see the role my mother had played in making me stand on my own.. in making me strong. Had she not left us, I would not be this kind of person now. I would not have studied harder, worked harder, dreamed larger.
The attitude has changed from “we missed Nanay because she’s gone and we were orphans who tried to survive in deep and vast ocean” to “Nanay missed us all those years that she was alone, she’s living out a lonely life to teach us how to be strong.”
It’s not too late for any of us. We just have to embrace an understanding that life may be very different from anything we’ve ever heard of. Think about the disciples who followed Jesus into a whole new way of thinking and seeing their world? They came to an understanding, and they had to step out into a new direction, no matter what the consequences might be.
Other people may judge my mother too quickly for what happened to us. Judgment are theirs, I have my mother. And I love her so much. And I am thankful to God for giving my mother another birthday.. and lots more to come.
This is for you Nanay:
I say a little prayer for you Nanay
to thank the Lord above
for blessing me with a lifetime
of your unselfish love.
I thanked God for the caring
you’ve shown me through the years,
for the bond of life we enjoyed
in time of laughter and of tears.
My sincerest thank to you Nanay
for all you’ve done for me
and I thank God for giving me
the best mother there could be!
“You showed me. When I was young just how to grow. You showed me. Everything that I should know. You showed me. Just how to walk without your hands. Cuz mom you always were. The perfect fan.” – The Backstreet Boyz